It's May now, and I have been trying to decided what resolution to work towards. I would like to work on slowing down, but I am not sure I can do it. I'm not even sure I know how to do it. It seems so vague. When I wrote it what I meant was enjoy the trip as opposed to sprinting towards the finish line. I have a habit of putting blinders on like a race horse and running like hell to finish things. It makes me a very efficient person, but I also miss things.
I am constantly feeling like time is my enemy. Even the other resolutions I have made so far all involve time. Time for writing, time for exercising, time for reducing clutter, time to spend with each member of my family. Some days I feel like I am behind before I get out of bed. Today, for example, I was up at 6:00 because I started to think of all the things I needed to accomplish. I need to take Bear around to my Dad's business friends to fundraise; I need to do school with the girls; I need to make a deposit into the fundraising account; I need to clean the kitchen; I need to blog; I need to take the kids to their afternoon activities; I need to wash the girls bedding; I need to vacuum; I need to take flyers about our pizza fundraiser to the pizza place... The list could go on and on. As I look back on it I realize that many of these things are not actually "needs". Some of them are promises that I would feel bad if I didn't keep. The cleaning tasks don't seem like they should be "needs", but I have been me long enough to realize that I function so much better in a clean space. So while in a purely objective sense I know that these are not things I need to do. I do feel they are all necessary.
So if I choose to slow down, how do I do that? I have no idea. All my other resolutions have very concrete plans of action. This one is more vague. For this month I will do my best to stop and smell the roses. This blog will help me track how I am doing.
Alabama's song I'm in a hurry can be my anthem...
I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really got to do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why
Wish me luck!