Today I need to be festive. Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday season, and I want to get started with a band. Problem is... I'm just not feeling it. I am not ready to host. I didn't actually get my house as clean as I wanted or as much of the prep work done over the past few days because I have been dealing with some health issues for Bear and some girl drama issues for Curly. My parents won't be here for Thanksgiving, and instead are spending it with my brother's ungrateful family. Then my cat knocked a glass of cold water on my head this morning to wake me up. Not a festive alarm. So how do I recover? Can I recover?
A few weeks ago I was sitting at Cracker Barrell with my girls and my Mom. Within my line of sight there were two very old couples at separate tables. I love to people watch, and so I spent part of my time just watching. I saw one of the couple playfully teasing each other. Their conversations were light and warm and relaxed. The other couple barely spoke at all, but it wasn't the comfortable silence of two people who need no words to communicate. It was a tense, hard, cold silence broken only by an occasional clank of a fork hitting the plate too hard. These couples got me thinking about what sort of "old person" I will be. Will, I have grown to the point that I no longer first see red, and then have t calm myself down? Will I be able to have compassion for those who haven't found inner peace, or will I be annoyed that they haven't figured it out yet?
This led me to think about who I am now. Is it who I want to be? Am I the type of person I would like to be? The answer is sometimes yes... and sometimes no. I realize that we are all works in progress, and as such we should be slowly and steadily improving ourselves, but sometimes I get so impatient with myself. If I know who I want to be, and I know that it is a simple choice to be that person why don't I consistently make that choice?
And so on this festive day, I will make that choice at least for today. I will be calm and thankful, and I will choose to be festive as well. We only have so many Thanksgivings (my favorite holiday). So wasting one would be to deny myself something I love. Even worse it would be denying my family the best I have to offer. To help me get happy, I will list some people I am so very THANKFUL for...
My husband and my girls who are my very life force
My parents who have balanced unconditional love with high expectations my whole life
My in-laws who travel here every year to help make memories with my girls
My brother and his family who remind me that there are always different viewpoints
My friend Amy who the very memory of our times makes me smile
My friend Shannon who I am able to be honest with
My friend Kim who is ready with a hug or a pat on the shoulder
My friend Heather who makes me laugh all the time
All the other people I make chat with at the girls activities for helping me pass the time in fun way
I am also thankful for the things I have like a home, a car, my couch... but those things pale in comparison for what I am most thankful for... I am thankful that I have no reason not to be festive. Sure there are little things that aren't perfect, but I have no real problems! If that isn't a reason to celebrate I don't know what is.
Happy Thanksgiving! Go Celebrate :-)