Sunday, May 16, 2010

Clean Slate

There is nothing like spending a bit of time in rural Iowa to clear your head. After a long car ride or two and some quality time away from home I have realized what my dear Hubbie has been drilling into my head for the past few months. People and events that lead to me feeing bad about things I cannot change need to be cut loose. So with that in mind I am turning over a new leaf. I have never been a person who worried too much about what others think of me. It might the because in my life I have been both the outcast and the cool kid, and I know that in both cases I was still just me. So I have no idea why I let the events of the past few months get under my skin the way they have. I guess someone calling me mean is my kryptonite. Still within my heart I know I have not been mean. I feel comfortable with my actions. If others don't then that is no longer my problem. That is not to say I won't accept criticism. Obviously if someone talks to me about something specific that I did or said that offended them or upset them I will try it work it out. However, there is no defense against the general "you are mean" or "you ignored me" attack. Therefore, I refuse to even acknowledge those attacks. From here on out I am only ready to work with people who want resolution.

So now that I have that off my chest I need to move forward with my life. As I have mentioned our homeschooling is evolving. That means our needs are changing. My goal is to figure out what those needs are and what I need to do to fill those needs. That may include recruiting more members for our homeschool group. It may include joining a different group, or it may even include starting over. The only thing I am certain about is that if I want something different than I have now I am going to have to work for it. Actually I feel like just writing that down lifts the fog I have been under, and dare I say it... I feel excited for the adventure!

No comments: