One of THOSE Moms

I admit I struggle with hubris. Not for myself (although I do have a healthy amount of self confidence),but for my girls. I know that simple biology accounts for my belief that my girls are among the best. All Moms think that about their children. Still, when one of them seems to excel at some thing or even if they make some sort of advancement my heart swells. When Curly Q. started dancing I was sure she was the BEST in her class. Actually she was, but when compared with other good dancers she is average. She holds her own,and if she continues I think she will do well. She has a great memory for choreography,but she has to work to learn the steps. However,if you had asked me last year I was sure dancing was in her blood.

Now it is Bear's turn. She is in a dance class with kids a full year older than her, and she is one of the top two dancers in the class. It makes me smile as I watch her pick up steps so easily. The place I am most excited for her is gymnastics. She has mastered all the beginning skills and is being moved up to the next level. Her teacher (who is probably just very good at keeping parents happy to come back session after session) tells me he is very impressed with her. The prospect of being asked to join both dance company and gymnastics team is very real,and I have to admit it feels exciting in a strange way even though either opportunity would be a huge expense both financially and time wise. If she happens to be chosen for both she would be required to choose one which could be quite a tumultuous choice. I shouldn't be looking forward to these situations, but I am.

Even as I look back over what I have written I know it is crazy. My children are 5 and 7. There is no need for them to excel at anything other than being kids. I think I keep my feeling under wraps enough that it doesn't affect them and their choices.

BTW I know I am freak so please don't feel the need to remind me of that fact in the comments ;-)

Consumerism

I grew up with shopping therapy. We weren't well off when I was very little, but by the time I hit high school we were doing pretty well. Also, I started working when I was 15 and all my earnings became spending cash. So the mall became my psychiatrist's office. Didn't do well in a theater audition, try this new shirt. Broke up with my boyfriend, how about a new pair of earrings. As I got older it continued. Didn't get the job I wanted, new curtains will fix everything. Having trouble with a friend, well at least my furniture matches. This went on for a LONG time.

Of course as I have mentioned here, I am trying to be a better consumer. I try to replace things as I NEED them. I try not to buy stuff that will be obsolete within a short period of time. The problem with this is that I have no psychiatrist. So here I sit with the winter blahs, and I have to find a new fix. I know that I should try exercising. There is so much research that shows how the endorphins released during exercise can combat depression. But who feels like exercising when they are depressed. Maybe if I buy a cute new exercise outfit and some shoes... ;-)

New Year's Resolutions

This year Curly Q. expressed interest in making her own resolutions. So at breakfast Friday I brought it up. I thought we could give each other suggestions as to what changes we could make for the new year. I was pleasantly surprised by how insightful they both were. We each ended up with 3 personal resolutions plus a few things we plan to work on as a family.

Bear's Resolutions:

1. Hold her pencil correctly
2. Talk when she is upset instead of hiding and crying
3. Clean up after herself

Curly Q.'s Resolutions:

1. Listen to her belly when deciding what and ow much to eat
2. Stay out of other people's business
3. Be more optimistic

Mom's Resolutions:

1. Spend more time with kids doing fun stuff
2. Talk to kids instead of just sending them to their rooms when they misbehave
3. Do one cardio and one yoga workout each week

Family Resolutions:

1. LISTEN
2. Give our dog more attention
3. Use less paper
4. Do more to take care of the environment

So there you have it. I think these are great goals. Plus I think we can actually achieve all of these.

2009

Well it is 2009...

I am not going to make any promises to keep up with this blog. What I am going to promise is that I will post whenever I think of something I want to say. In the past when I have gone for a while without posting I find it hard to start again because I feel like I need to make a grand re-entrance. I promise to not worry about that. Of course that will make this blog all the more disjointed, but I guess that is part of its charm. Right?

Ok, now that is out of the way....

This year I am going to change my kids names on this blog. I am planning on mentioning it in several online communities I am part of. I have been trying to come up with appropriate nicknames. I want something that will define them forever, and I want it to be postive trait. So calling my oldest dancer or Miss Impatient will not do. So the oldest will be referred to as Curly Q. and the youngest will be Bear. Now I have to figure out how to change the old posts.

I do have a great post about our New Year's resolutions, but that will have to wait because I have to go do my daughterly duty. My Mom really owes me...

A different story...

I wrote about how well socialized my kids were, but I am a different story. When I was very young I was very much like Curly Q. Everyone was my friend, and I loved to spend time with people. Then I went to public school, and for various reasons I was not accepted fully by my peers. Maybe it was my ugly glasses, maybe it was my intelligence, maybe I was just too eager to be accepted. Whatever the reason I was a social outcast on and off throughout elementary school. By high school I had lost the glasses and gained some self confidence. I found my place in the hell that passes for society in high school. Within my circle (and maybe even outside my circle) I was fairly popular. In fact I LOVED high school. College was also fairly easy for me socially. I had a medium sized circle of friends and making new friends was not difficult for me.

So what happened? I have a very small circle of friends whom I love to spend time with, but outside of them and my family I often avoid social interaction. It just seems like so much work to begin a friendship which more often than not winds up to be not worth it. I'm not nervous about new people I am just too lazy to get to know them. There are only so many hours in the day, and I sometimes feel that I am spread too thin as it is. Still I know that I should invest more time in solidifying friendships with people especially in the homeschool community. The problem with that is that since people have such diverse reasons for homeschooling it's difficult to find what I am looking for. Maybe I am just way too picky...

Socialization

One of the chief complaints people have about homeschooling is that the kids won't be properly socialized. I will admit that when I started homeschooling I worried about this too. Curly Q. is such a social person that I was sure she would need lots of interaction. Bear doesn't seem to need other people as much and that made me worry too. In the past year and a half I have learned to believe what I kept telling myself.

First, different people need different amounts of socializing, and that is ok. Just because Bear prefers to play alone sometimes doesn't mean that she is destined to become a sociopath described by her neighbors as a quiet young woman who kept to herself. Curly Q. isn't destined to become a playboy bunny because she craves constant attention.

Second, when it comes to socializing quality trumps quantity any day. At school kids have plenty of opportunities to socialize, but most of the time they have no good role models to turn to for these interactions. There ends up being a blind leading the blind situation.

Last, a school social group is terribly artificial. First they stick everyone who's birthday is within a 12 month period together. Then in some case they further group the kids by ability. This might be a good idea for teaching and learning, but not for socializing.


We are becoming more active in our local homeschool group, and these points seem so obvious when spending time with them. The kids move from one conversation to another (with all ages of other kids and grownups) with total ease. Some of the kids spend lots of time socializing; some kids are more frugal with their words. None of them appear to be ill at ease although it is a very new group. There may come a time when we decide homeschooling isn't the best choice for us, but I am sure it won't because of socialization.

Midnight Rendevous

I am tired again this morning. My husband will tell you it's my own fault (which it may well be, but don't tell him). You see my kids like to sneak into my bed in the middle of the night. I let them stay for a little while, then I walk them back down the hall to their own beds. Some nights we do this dance half a dozen times. My dear husband says that I should crack the whip, and they would stop. Once again, I know he's right, but the problem is that I like having them with me. I like that they need me in the night. I like that they are quiet and still and warm. In truth if we had a bigger bed I might not even do the walk down the hall over and over again. The day is coming when they won't want to snuggle up with me. The day is coming when I won't be able to provide the support they need. Some day I will have to fight the urge to climb into bed with them because I need the the reassurance only they will be able to provide. Until then I will enjoy the peace of snuggling a sleeping child in the midnight hour--even if it means a groggy morning.