Thankful for All the Fun Things We Did on Vacation

Our vacation, although fraught with conflict did include some very fun activities.

We got to play in the carousel park.

Visit an old jail

Play at the beach

                                             

Ride scooters, bikes and even a go-kart

We visited an old Spanish Fort

And we even sipped water from the fountain of youth

So as you see we had lots of fun things to do on our vacation, and for that I am thankful.

Thankful for a Bad Memory

The distance from the situation that arose on vacation has given me some perspective.  Although I will always love my extended family, there will be times that I don't like them.  This vacation was one of those times.  I can honestly say that from the first day we arrived I was uncomfortable.  I am not sure why this trip seemed to so bad, but I can only attribute it to the constant turmoil that surrounds them.  I know that I tend to err on the opposite side, and I have found myself avoiding conflicts that are necessary to keep moving forward, but they seem to look for battles everywhere they go.

I did talk briefly to my brother about the situation, and I was baffled by his responses.  First he said that he believes that his family unit a unit, and that any battle that one is in, they are all in.  That means that instead of calming each other down, they rile each other up.  It also means that even if they each only had the normal amount of conflicts, they would end up with fives times that amount as they take on each others battles.  He said that it was about trust.  I think he should trust the other members of his family to fight their own battles.

The part of the conversation that confused me the most was when he referenced the fight or flight response, and said he normally chooses flight unless it is something very important.  I looked in his eyes as he said it, and I could tell he truly believed that.  I don't think anyone who knows him well agrees, and that led me to question how he could really believe it.  I haven't reconciled that yet, but I am still thinking about it.

As I mentioned, I have been trying to gain perspective on this, and of course I have been talking to my husband who thinks the situation is much more cut and dry.  As we talk he keep bringing up things that have happened with my brother's family that I have forgotten.  We're talking about 12 years of on and off conflict, and I don't remember more than half of the problems.  That leads me to something strange to be thankful for.  I am very forgetful.  Normally that is not something to be thankful for, but in this case it helps me not hold grudges.  So even though I will remember that there was a scuffle, I won't remember the details, and for that I am thankful

Thankful for This Blog

It doesn't seem possible that I have had this blog since Aug. 2007, but I have.  Still it is only since I began blogging regularly a few weeks ago that i began to really see its worth.  You see, I am a thinker.  When I have a problem I can spend days thinking it through.  I am not usually the kind of person to rush into a situation until I feel I have a good grasp of the outcome.  I guess it is another control freak thing.  As I have gotten older it has become more difficult to keep all that information straight in my head.  I am finding that this blog is a great place to think things through.

It has led to another problem though.  On the one hand I like the idea of writing with an audience in mind, but on the other hand that means that my very personal internal dialogue is out there for all to see.  So when I need to vent about something others become privy to my worst moments.  When I feel insecure, lazy, jealous, or just plain bitchy I am sharing that with the world.  That takes a level of trust that i am not known for.  The funny thing is, I wouldn't mind sharing these things with anonymous strangers, but I like people who actually know me to think better of me.

Luckily, so far at least, people have accepted me with my faults.  I haven't scared anyone off, and for that I am thankful. 

Thankful for Home

We have been home for several days now, and things are getting back to normal. As I mentioned in my previous posts our vacation did not fir my personal definition of what a vacation should be in most ways. Still, it did lead to me be thankful for things I often take for granted. One of those things is my house.

I know it sounds silly. My house is fairly modest by todays's standards. It was built in the 1950s (by my Grandpa). It is a simple raised ranch, and although I think the decor looks nice, it wasn't exactly decorated by a designer. Still when I walked in the door after this trip, I felt like a sailor whi was setting door on dry land for the first time in months. I truy had to resist the urge to drop to the floor and begin kissing the ground.

Of course this was an extreme case, but I feel kind of like this every time I travel. I don't know what makes it so special except that it is home, and for that I am truly thankful.

Back to our regularly scheduled thanks :)

So now it is morning. S always, a good night's sleep helped me gain perspective. It mussy have been good for my girls too because this morning they seem much better. This morning I can see clearly all the wonderful things I have to be thankful for.

The warm weather here
The resilience of children
The big free continental breakfast in the hotel
Coffee
Friends who care about me and my trifles
A husband who once again put aside his thoughts and said just what I needed to hear
A mom who loves me kids so deeply that she will go to bat for them even at her own expense
A brother who was willing to calm himself down enough to set things right with my kids
A nephew who feels things every bit as intensely as Kali (a rare thng in a boy)
Some peace and quiet
And most importantly, a home that is so great that I cannot wait to return to it.

"Apparently, there is nothing that cannot happen today." Mark Twain

Thankful for???

This month is supposed to be all about being positive and finding the silver lining, but I must admit that I am having a lot of trouble this week.

We are visiting my brother and his family in Florida. Sometimes I have a hard time believing we are related (let alone brother and sister). We are so different in every way. That is fine with me, I have plenty of friends who are not like me, but some days it seems like our differences may be a deal breaker. Today is one of those days. I don't want or need to recount the gory details. Suffice to say that our extremely different parenting styles led to a problem between his kids and mine. This alone should have been no biggie, after all kids fight some times. The problem is that my brother and my mother got involved. I was sick on the couch, and so I didn't know what was going on until too late. It came to a head with my mom saying some not so nice words to my brother, and then my brother kicking her out of his house. Of course since I was the primary driver on our rental I left too.

As I said there are many more details, but it boils down to my brother's self righteous attitude. He has been this way his whole life, and sadly for him he alienates everyone with it. So now here we are in a hotel room instead of enjoying our last fun night with his family. The kids of course had to be consoled, and luckily everyone involved seems to want to make sure the kids are ok. So I guess that is something to be thankful for. It's the best I've got for tonight...

Many Thanks

We're on vacation so posting every day is difficult. That means I have a few thanks built up right now.

First I am thankful that even in the middle of a rough trip there are things to add a bit of levity. On the way here, as Q-Bert and I were walking to the restroom in the airport, we heard last call for a flight departing from a gate near where we were walking. Then we hear a man yelling "Here!" the man passes us up and I see that it is quite a large black man. He is struggling with the waist of his pants. When he gets about four feet in front of us his pants fall to his knees, and Q-Bert gets a full of view of a very large very hairy butt. She was horrified, and I am still laughing about the look on her face.

Next I am thankful, for the trick my brother played on us. We had a layover in Nashville. As we made our way from one gate to the next we bump into my Aunt Becky who lives in Nashville. She proceeds to tell us that she is taking the same flight as we are because she is going to see friends in Jacksonville. So we got to ride the plane with her, and when we arrived she tried to call her friend for a pickup and couldn't get a hold of her. So we meet up with my brother for lunch, and then we decide to just bring Aunt Becky back to his house until she can get a ride to her friend's place. After several hours we finally find out that she and my brother had arranged the whole thing, and she would be staying here with us for the whole time.

Third, as much as I enjoy my brother and his kids I am thankful they don't live nearby. Even over the course of the past few days, the quantity of drama in their lives is far more than I can handle. Their eldest son is in trouble all the time (recently it has even included the cops). They are fighting with their neighbors. My sister in law is fighting at work about her schedule. They are arguing with the school about one kid's gifted plan and the other kid's IEP for speech. I just cannot function with all the excitement.

Lastly, I am thankful that I get to sleep with Bear when we are on vacation. She used to sneak into my room in the middle of the night, but as she grew up those times got fewer and fewer. I know it is for the best because neither of us was sleeping that well. Still it is so nice to snuggle up with her. I know before too long she won't want to so for now I will enjoy it.