Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Thankful for Good Friends

I just woke up from a horrible dream.  I've been having similar dreams on and off my whole life, but they got especially bad after I had kids.  I call them the incompetence dreams.  You know, the ones where you do everything wrong?  Well, last night's was a doozie!  It started with me losing my clothes in a public changing room.  Then I dropped a hot iron on someone's toe.  It went on and on finally ending with me losing my kids in a restaurant.  I hate these types of dreams, and when I wake up I feel so awful. 

This morning was no different.  After the dream I got up, and got on my laptop.  I figured I could catch up on some of the blogs I read.  The first one I came to was from one of my close friends, and it was about how fear and lack of confidence can cause a person to miss out on lots of things.  Considering I am sure that my incompetence dreams are rooted in a fear of failure the timing was perfect.

I struggled with confidence when I was a kid, but once I got to high school I felt good about who I was.  At that time I met people who were good for me.  They thought I was great.  The things which made me special were appreciated.  It was such a relief to be liked for being me.

That experience changed me.  It made me realize that I am a worthwhile person.  I am not perfect, but there are people who don't expect me to be.  These same people even find some of the ways I am not perfect endearing.  I have chosen to surround myself with these people.  I have no problem chatting with just about anyone, but if I am going to invest in really getting to know someone I need to know that they will be good for me.  I cannot allow people whose goal is to tear others down into my life.

Luckily I have found a few people who fit the bill.   Obviously, my husband is good for my ego, but I also have a small circle of friends who I genuinely like and care about.  So today I am thankful for people I can be myself with (even if I am a nerd).  I just hope that those around me realize that I feel the same about them.


Shannon said...

You've helped me to overcome some of my fears over the last year. I know, ultimately, the majority of it has to come from within myself, but sometimes people need a nudge and you gave me that nudge - by being a good friend, and by setting a good example. You've made a difference in my life, and I appreciate you so much.

Jen said...

Awww thanks. That made my day :)