It's after 11:00 pm. I have had an extremely long day, and I really want to be asleep. But my head is so full of the day that when I lay down all I can do is think.
We are still diligently working on raising the funds for Bear's trip to nationals, but it is SO stressful. The first problem is that one of the families truly NEEDS to raise money for this trip. Even after we have paid the coaches fees they are not in a comfortable place. I am so thankful that we are ok, but even if we weren't I would like to think that we wouldn't be freaking out. This family is freaking out, and it is making everyone else so edgy. The second problem is that in order to offer sponsors a tax deduction we have to go through the booster club. That should be fine, but the woman who does all the work for the booster club is unavailable because her father died. The woman she said to contact is not returning calls. The woman who is returning calls doesn't know anything. The treasurer who is supposed to know things is being a big jerk. I am thankful that a new booster club board is being elected within a couple weeks. Also it seems that there are all these regulations as to what we can and cannot use the funds we raise for. The booster club won't even let us use the money we raise for the girls plane tickets. I am thankful that most of the money we are collecting won't have to go through them at all. The third problem is the time crunch. Five weeks from today we leave for Orlando. I don't like to plan a personal vacation in that amount of time. Planning a big multi-family trip complete with fundraisers is damn near impossible. Still I am thankful that the girls have this kind of once in a lifetime experience.
All this may not even matter because Bear has injured her heel. It has been quite sore for 2 weeks. She finally got to see the sports doctor that comes to the gym, and he wants her to get an x-ray tomorrow to rule out a growth plate fracture. I am thankful that she was able to see such a specialist for free at the gym. I feel so guilty because I know that she injured it showing off her back flips on hard floors. I didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently I was wrong.
I was doing well with my resolutions, but I am beginning to think I should have put the one about meditation earlier in the year. I am feeling so anxious I can hardly breathe right now. I am thankful that I see to be the only one putting so much pressure on me. I have supportive people around me that remind me that they want to help, and that they respect how I am handling things.
I am doing ok with my April resolution of spending more time with each girl. It is ironic that just when I tried to make this big time commitment to them, all this other time consuming stuff came up. I would say that I am about 50% of the way into making the extra time a habit. I would say I am about the same amount into my exercise goal. It doesn't feel like nearly enough, but it is better than nothing. I am thankful that I am making some progress.
So there you are. These are some of the thoughts that are keeping me awake. Really it is mostly worry about Bear's foot. I thought for sure it would be better by now. I am nervous about what the doctor will say tomorrow, but I am thankful that we should have some answers.